CALFers Get Rewarded

(Some of you may have seen this on Fluid Imagination already, but some of you also may have not, so I'm reposting it here)

Sunday was Green Mountain College's annual Honors Tea. It's the day when all the hippies put on their finest duds and receive awards and certificates for various academic and community-service achievements. Of the crew that I hang out with up here, four of us received awards.

First, Alex Hunley received the award for Outstanding Philosophy Student. Alex has taken almost every philosophy course offered at the college, and several independent studies in philosophy besides, but even more than that, the kid lives and breathes philosophy. If he could, he would pour butter onto the thighs of Wittgenstein and dip his bread in it.

Alex also won the Marsh Prize for his paper on (I think) progressive education and the general Green Mountain College curriculum. The Marsh Prize comes with a hundred-dollar check, too, so if you're at the pub and looking for someone to spot you a few, look around for the man who swears he could be a rock star, if only he had musical talent.

Second, Will (B.J.) Shoemaker received the award for Outstanding Communications Student. Will edited the Mountaineer, the campus newspaper, for a large portion of his college career. He's also worked as the student worker in the communications office, helping put out the college's weekly journal and quarterly bulletin. I think I once saw him masturbate to the table of contents in the New Yorker.

Third, the amazing Dawn Sarli took home the award for Outstanding Literature Student. When we started the Creative Arts Living Floor, one of the questions on the application was "What kinds of art do you practice?" Dawn answered, "Reading." As the chairperson of the English department said, "You've never studied literature until you've studied literature with Dawn." Outside of the wine and dinners you'll receive when you attend any of her independent study meetings, you'll also find yourself the grateful recipient of an interesting, insightful, and at the same time, totally unexpected reading of whatever text Dawn happens to be engaging. After dinner, you'll receive, well...we don't need to go into that.

Dawn also won a community service award for her work organizing the campus' Feminist Fair about a month ago. The Dean of Student Life told the audience that the FemFair was one of the most successful events that she had seen in her entire career as Dean of Student Life (sure, she's only been in that position for a year, but still). There were representatives and presentations from a large portion of the clubs on campus, as well as representatives and presentations from women's organizations around the state. Several feminist artisans displayed and sold their wares. And one woman had sex with a donkey to celebrate the beauty of choice.

Lastly, yours truly was awarded the Outstanding Writing Student award. One of my professors said some really nice things about me, and it was really good to hear. That was why, in the middle of it, I spit on my hand.

All in all, it was a good day here at Green Mountain College.